The hCG level has only gone up to about 25000 since last Thursday, and that's not good. Another ultrasound is scheduled for Friday, and with how things are going, I don't expect to see what we would like to see...
The really crappy thing is, I still feel pregnant - very nauseous, up to the point where I have been considering the relative merits of throwing up, and only taking small sips of water, plus the fact that I absolutely hate vomiting, have aided me in stopping myself from doing so.
It's just fucked - excuse my French.
At this point I am probably most upset about the fact that I can't just stop taking the progesterone and still have to carry on as if everything is normal, until Friday, anyway. Three more days of bloody hope - because I don't think I"ll be able to stop myself hoping, even in the face of the cruel facts.
I have to say that while I gave miscarriage some fleeting thought prior to offering to become a surrogate, it was very, very fleeting. The only two outcomes of the whole procedure that I actually thought about longer were a/ the transfer doesn't work and I don't get pregnant, and b/ the transfer works and I get pregnant, with a healthy baby, or even not a healthy one, is born. Miscarriage... I've never had one, not that I know of anyway. I should probably read up on it. Hopefully it happens earlier rather than later...
Poor little traveler - I guess he or she isn't quite right, and it's probably for the best that the pregnancy doesn't progress beyond this point.
All I can say at this point is that if I can, I will give it another try for Kylie and Adrian. The 'if I can' bit includes considerations regarding the time that I have available in Australia, and how things go with losing the LT.