7 months +

It is the end of February, Year 1 PS (post surrogacy) :D

And life is still great. Our move to Brunei has been completed mostly with success - the children have settled well into their new surroundings and new school, and found new friends easily. Damien seems to be enjoying his job, and, so far, I am enjoying being a lady of leisure. I don't think I could last much longer, but fortunately semester is starting next week, and as I am enrolled in two interesting courses, I'll probably manage to stay busy even if it turns out I am not able to work here.

Hamish is, as always, a little delight for his parents. He even travels well, bless him... with his first international flights and a few weeks of sight-seeing under his belt, he is now officially an ideal child.

And cute too!

Kylie and Hamish's visit in Brunei this year is on the cards too - hopefully it will work out, not seeing them for a whole year would make me sad (hint hint if you're reading this, Rafterys :D).

And as this is a blog documenting the whole journey, I'd be remiss not to mention that we are now big media stars! :) Just as we were busily packing to move, Kylie and Adrian were approached by a journalist, who wanted to write our story. I was unable to contribute to the actual article, although it appears that the journalist consulted my blog and plucked one of the pearls that I drop on a regular basis to incorporate into the article. It appeared on the front page (!) of the Daily Telegraph on Saturday, 16 February, with quite a few photos included (when I first saw them, I have to say I was a bit taken aback, as I wasn't aware that they, at least the ones of me, would be there - still not exactly sure how I feel about it, but what's done is done). Here's the link to the online version - Forging a bond, and sharing the joy.

And that's all for now. I'm going to go and get lunch ready, before I pick up my children from school and then proceed to spend a few hours in the pool that we have in the backyard... bliss! Oh, did I mention that, as I am typing this, a maid is cleaning our house? :D

Year 1 PS shall be a good year!

More than 4 months ago

Long time no post!

A lot has happened since I last updated.

I stopped eating chocolate and lost most of Hamish weight, and then lost some more, due to a very rare event in my life - an illness. Horrible horrible thing, pneumonia, do NOT recommend as a weight-loss strategy.

I had another reminder of how amazing my family and friends are and how blessed I am to have them all in my life. I found out a couple of weeks ago that my husband, along with an entourage of keen helpers, has planned a surprise wedding vows renewal for us on the day after our 10th wedding anniversary. The ceremony was lovely (better than the original one!) and the reception and fun afterwards was great. I enjoyed myself lots, and still marvel at how everyone could possibly keep this a secret for so long - they sure pulled it off!

I applied for a job, and got it. I started last week, and I am enjoying myself immensely - a very interesting, varied, exciting, challenging job, with great colleagues and supportive supervisors. Which is just as well, because...

...on my first day at work, I got a phone call from my husband, who informed me that his supervisors want him to go on a short-term posting (for 9 months) in the beginning of next year. We discussed it, and decided that he would not take the posting unless I could somehow take unpaid leave or arrange something else. I was not hopeful, as I was going to discuss this with my supervisor on my SECOND day at work, but I was shocked - she was very understanding and told me not to stress, that my job would be waiting for me when I come back. Wow. Talk about good bosses!

And, of course, there's Hamish. He is now, officially, the son of his parents. The paperwork has gone through, Kylie and Adrian 'adopted' him, and he now has a new birth certificate that shows them as his parents.

He is a little delight. I got to see him, and Kylie and Adrian, and their parents as well, for two weekends in a row - first the wedding vows renewal, then Adrian's birthday party. He is (Hamish, not Adrian :) a chilled out little guy, gives lots of smiles, loves exploring and touching everything, and already eats some solids! He doesn't sleep much during the day, but very well overnight, and even lets his parents sleep in regularly.

Apparently laughing at a funny joke from dad - I think dad was  more likely making silly faces/noises, or singing a very entertaining rendition of 'Glump glump went the little green frog one day' :D

Remember the photo with Hamish, Sophie doll, and a paper saying '1 month'? This paper says '4 months' - what a change!

When I was watching Kylie and Adrian this weekend, it all finally wrapped up for me. I don't think I've been been looking for 'closure', but I got one nevertheless. The way they interact with Hamish, the way their faces light up with smiles, their genuine happiness... I am so happy for them, the feeling almost lifts me up.

I am also very proud of them. They are the best parents (if you don't count Adrian's occasional lapses of judgement that make me want to come over and give him a lecture on parenting :D So far, I have managed to bite my tongue and stop myself, particularly as I always remember that my husband's behaviour towards our kids is pretty similar - which, now that I think about it, probably means that it doesn't constitute a lapse of judgement as such, but is merely a 'dad thing').

I never doubted it, but now I know for sure - I made the right choice. If I could travel in time, even knowing exactly what was going to happen and how stressful the pregnancy would be, I'd do it all over again. I helped to add another child to a wonderful family, and hopefully aided in healing a little bit of the terrible hurt in his parents' hearts.

Time flies!

Yes, it does! Little Bruiser is no longer known by his in utero nickname. He is definitely Hamish now. A little man with his own personality, a giggler, a kicker. We went to see him and his parents a few weeks ago and spent the weekend together. I had lots and lots of cuddles, and Damien as well as Ben and Sophie got to hold Hamish too.

Life is good.

 

 

 

 

Happy 1 month, Hamish!

Surreal... One month ago, this little guy was only just born. I can't believe it - it feels like it has been much longer. 

He is an absolute cutie pie! And, true to his nickname, still a Little Bruiser. Only a little bigger now :D 

1 month old... already??

Awwww......

And awwww again....

Precious!!

Wonder what he's thinking...

Gosh, tears in my eyes again... they look so happy! Well, most of them :D

Impatiently patient

I want to get fit again! And I want to start now!! Physically, I am feeling completely fine now, but I think I should probably wait until about the 6 week mark until I start training for that marathon :)

Which brings me back to my previous post - I still feel like I need to find myself a new 'project', but the urgency of the last week has passed. I have thought about a few things that sound good, and I'll see if I can do any of them, but I think I am happy now to take my time in getting there and just enjoy life without any extras for the moment... I think. Hmm. We'll see how long that moment lasts :)

New normal?

The Rafterys left Canberra on Monday, after we have all jumped over one of the last hurdles of the surrogacy process - we had a little talk with a psychologist, who, I assume, will conclude that we are all sane and aware of what we are doing. We then have to wait until the 30th August before we can lodge a request with the court to transfer legal parenting responsibilities for Hamish into his biological parents' hands. The keyword here is 'legally', as my time of responsibility for his well-being is over, save for the moments when I am giving him a cuddle and need to make sure I don't drop him on his head or something of the sort :D Unfortunately, those times will be few now as he is three hours drive away. 

I have to say that since the Rafterys left, I have had a few emotional moments. Certainly, I am missing all of them, but it is not just that. I am very, very happy that Sophie Cleo has a little brother now, and that the new family gets to settle and live their lives in their own home. I don't feel like I should have a baby in my arms, as adorably cuddlable as he is. I think the main issue is that this undertaking has been a huge part of my life for more than three years now, and for the past year and a half it almost completely consumed it - not to the exclusion of everything else, but rather as a backdrop. Emotionally and physically, it has been at the forefront for so long, and now, suddenly, in one day, in one moment, it's all gone. Over. 

And I am at a little bit of a loss, actually. I'm not sure what to do with myself. That will probably soon right itself, but at the moment I am floundering a little. I am back to my 'normal' life - kids, work, study. But something seems to be missing. I find myself thinking of new 'projects' - something big, some long-term goal. Getting fit and training for a marathon - sure, why not? Starting over in a new, challenging field of study when I am finished with the current one - sounds good. Finally completing one of my novels - okay, that could do it. But somehow, none of this sounds quite satisfactory enough. I guess there are very few things that could compare with what I have just accomplished - not many that I am in a position to do anyway. And when I say compare, I mean have, in my own eyes, a similar achievement value. I don't know. Maybe any of the above project possibles would do if they contributed to someone else's lives as well? What about training for a marathon and then running it to raise money for Make-a-Wish Australia? Hmm. Sounds better. Maybe I'll start with just trying to volunteer for them. What do you think?

Revelation

Today, the Rafterys came over for a short visit, and gave me a gift. Well, ostensibly, Hamish gave me a gift. I didn't open it immediately as I wanted some cuddles first :D But after the cuddles, I had a look, and immediately had tears in my eyes... 

It is a necklace with a round two-part pendant - on the inside, there is a 'tree of life', and on the outside, a silver ring with the names of the three children that I carried and gave birth to - Benjamin, Sophie, and Hamish. Needless to say, this is something that I will cherish forever. Teary as I type this.

As I was putting it on, I realised that I had it all wrong from the very beginning. When I named this blog, I gave it a subtitle - A Journey to Surrogacy and Back. I don't know what I was thinking. This journey has changed the life of many people, my own included. It has brought a new life to being. There is no 'back' to go to... The only direction to go from here is forward. Ahead. Beyond. 

I am a tummy mummy. I grew and gave birth to Kylie and Adrian's child. I am proud, happy, fulfilled. 

And as of today, this blog has a new subtitle.