Would you believe...

that Bruiser still has not deemed it appropriate to grace us with his presence? You betcha! I am starting to feel like this is never going to happen!! Really, really anxious now as I keep thinking that every extra day only increases the possibility of something going wrong...

Off to monitoring at the hospital clinic tomorrow... You don't want to know what happened on Monday after I cracked it and called the midwife in tears saying that I can't deal with the pressure anymore (emotional, not physical) - but I'm going to tell you anyway. We went for a monitoring then, the result of which was 'baby is doing fine, your cervix is progressing beautifully, no space for you now so come back on Wednesday and we'll talk then'. That made me feel even more stressed than I already was and I burst into tears in front of the midwife, the registrar, Kylie and Adrian and both of my kids (who were thankfully fully immersed in the joys of iPad games and didn't pay any attention to my display of theatrics) - feel very bad for K & A though witnessing that, as I'm sure it's only made them feel guilty. But that, folks, wasn't the worst part. About a minute after everyone left the room to give me space to get myself together (and about two minutes after I acknowledged the registrar's statement that the baby is doing fine by saying that I am aware of that fact, just as well as I'm aware of the fact that this can change in a matter of minutes), some poor woman in the room next door started wailing desperately and crying 'my baby, my baby'... Kylie and Adrian, who were by then in the waiting room, of course heard it as well, and there were apparently midwives crying and doctors bustling into the room... Obviously, this is someone else's tragedy. But for me, and I imagine particularly for K & A, it was the absolutely worst possible end to our little outing. Depressing day followed. Today I had another really crappy, and rather painful, day. While I would love to entertain the notion that the full-on crampiness could be a sign of impending labour, I am not overly optimistic...

Come on Little Bruiser, 41 weeks tomorrow!! Stop this nonsense and get your butt out!

And...

still nothing. Nada. Niente. No movement in the station. Hmph.

Little Bruiser should get a Little Busy before I get a Little Batty.

One day shy of full term

... and LB is still taking full advantage of free board.

I am getting a little (well, maybe a bit more than little) worried about the size - seems rather heavy, and is definitely long. The midwife today didn't think that the baby was too big (although she did comment on the length), and said that I might have a lot of amniotic fluid, which would account for the heaviness. Not sure about that one, hoping she knows what she's talking about... but at the last largish ultrasound we had (the 3D one at 34 week) the sonographer said that the fluid amount was on the low side of normal. So I don't know.

At this point I am really over it, and I just wish that he hurried up and came out to meet his parents already! The idea of carrying him for, possibly, another two weeks, does not exactly fill me with happiness - it would make things rather difficult from a lot of points of view. Also, and this is probably just the 'over it' bit talking, I feel like I've been on this surrogacy journey forever now, and I am quite ready for it to be done and dusted. It has been a huge part of my life for, well, at least the last year and a half, and in a smaller way for much longer.

So, it is time, Little Bruiser! Get your gear ready and make your grand entrance! Anytime soon would be good!!

39

And yes, again, still 2 in 1. Ugh...

The day after I posted last week we had a midwife appointment, and as part of it she did a 'stretch and sweep' - for the uninitiated as to this particular loveliness, the midwife (or doctor) inserts their finger/s into the vagina, finds the cervix, and if that is at all dilated, tries to stretch it a bit and separate the membranes of the amniotic sac just past its entrance from the uterine wall. At the time the midwife said that I was 2cm dilated and my cervix was anterior and thinned out a bit. Well, needless to say, nothing eventuated from that little adventure but a little bit of cramping on the day. Today's appointment brought another stretch and sweep and not much in terms of encouraging news - still 2cm, although cervix apparently a little 'softer', so I guess at least we're moving in the right direction. However, LB was, for the first time, not behaving himself quite as nicely as usual, and was slightly posterior (his spine facing mine), which, while not a huge problem, could mean longer and more painful labour, if s/he stays that way. Again, ugh...

So, for the time being, no movement at the station - although everything is all set for the grand entrance, what with both Kylie and Adrian being here and settled, and hubby off work to be able to watch the kids while I'm otherwise occupied. 

And so we wait.

38

Yes, 38 weeks! And still 2 in 1...

Getting very tired now. Tired enough to have decided that I would give work a skip as of today - thankfully it's the last week of term, followed by two weeks of holiday, so I will only miss three days.

LB is sitting very low, and we're both stuck in Braxton-Hicks-Galoresville at the moment - I turn over in bed, get a Braxton-Hicks; I stand up, get a Braxton-Hicks... you get the picture. Just about done, seriously. I also feel awful for Kylie, because I think I'm making her feel guilty that I feel tired (and grumpy) - and she shouldn't feel that, because I knew what I was in for when I agreed to do this. Anyway, hopefully not much longer and LB makes his/her appearance.

On a happier note, not sure if I mentioned that I won a competition for a free photo shoot of myself, Kylie, and the LB bump. The shoot took place a few weeks ago, and some of the photos are now up on the wonderful photographer's blog at http://heartstoryphotography.com.au/blog/portrait-photography/a-sibling-for-sophie-canberra-portrait-photographer/ - I'm the one with the belly :D

Almost term!

Only a few days to term! Very exciting, although even if LB were to be born today, labour wouldn't be stopped as apparently the only thing that changes now is the weight - everything else is all fine.

I have been feeling a bit under the weather in the last three or four days - veeeeerry tired, headachy, and cramping on and off. Yesterday it got to the point when I decided that enough was enough and called my midwife, who asked me to come to the birth center to get checked out. And checked out I was - extremely thoroughly! They put me on the baby monitor (to check LB's heartbeat (145 average), baby movement (lots), any contractions (none to speak about)), checked my blood pressure (125/74), ultrasound (placenta is low, but baby is lower, so all is good), internal exam (cervix is long, closed and posterior - nowhere near ready, told you I have cervix of steel!), and urine exam. And, as I suspected, it turns out that I have a urinary tract infection! Not too happy about that, but happy to know what's happening. So as of today, I am on antibiotics, and I have been told to 'hydrate as I have never hydrated before' :D Hopefully this will clear up soon, and I'll start feeling better.

As a side note, I found out that what I thought must surely be an urban legend - you know, the stories of women turning up at the emergency complaining of abdominal pains, and find out they are full-term pregnant and in labour - is NOT an urban legend after all! The obstetrician that was doing the ultrasound was very nice and chatty, and told me and the midwife about a lady who turned up the day before thinking she had severe gastro, and was told that she was in fact 40 weeks pregnant, 10 centimeters dilated, and ready to deliver! Apparently she was in complete denial, refused to push, and in the final minutes yelled at the midwives in between contractions 'But I can't be having a baby, I don't even have a basinette!' :D

And on this happy note, I shall finish this post.


Edit: Not sure what happened with my font, but can't seem to fix it... hmmm. 

35 weeks

Oh, how much more can this little one grow, I wonder? I feel like s/he has nowhere to go now - I feel huge! I'm sure that's just my imagination and there is plenty of space, but man, I do feel quite done :D

We had a 3D (actually 4D) scan on Saturday, the first one I've ever had. It was interesting, but sadly LB didn't cooperate much - he is well and truly positioned for exit, head stuck down low, and his hands were, you guessed it, very nicely covering his face for basically all of the ultrasound. For a brief moment, after a lot of poking and prodding from us, s/he moved those little hand a fraction, and a part of a cute little face could be seen... just for that brief moment though. It appears that while the level of the amniotic fluid is within the normal range, there isn't all that much, and that combined with the size of the baby (normalish for the gestational age, actually) doesn't make for good ultrasound pictures. Oh well. Not that long to go until we get to meet this new little person... in person!

Kylie has been spending quite a bit of time here, helping me while hubby was away. She is coming back tomorrow for a week, then leaving for a few days, and then coming back again. As by that time I will be very close to 37 weeks and anything can happen at any time, she will probably be spending a great deal more time here. Which I certainly don't mind at all, as she does my housework, cooks, and entertains the kids! Plus she's great company, of course :D

I have had quite a bit going on, what with work and study in particular, and I feel really tired now most of the time - thus the lack of updating. I have an inkling that won't improve much until the big arrival. By the way, although the due date is 11 July, my money is on 29 June - probably because that is the last day of work (term ends) and I had a dream that I gave birth while on playground duty :-)